January 2012
Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
To people who smoke at young ages
dimitradorkem:
HAVE FUN DYING EARLY.
December 2011
Doctor: Are you sexually active
Me: Does it look like anything would want to have sex with this
Who ACTUALLY BUYS a Tumblr theme?
I didn't know Kristen Stewart was in Spongebob... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
Follow this blog, you’ll love it on your dashboard!
Yet another tumblr rant...
I have so many of these now, but it’s not like I can just put it on facebook… Sometimes I feel like such an idiot. I’m never good enough for anybody. Recently, I met a new friend and she is completely opposite from me. She lives on the edge. And I can’t help but look at my life and think “what the fuck are you doing with your life?” I’m never going to get...
My life
me: gee, i really like this guy!
my life: really? he's sooo good looking
me: yeah! and i think he likes me too!
my life: yeah i think he does! LOL JK, friend-zoned.
When you have a friend who is 924781x prettier...
befitbeyou:
1-dsecrets:
brittany-carel:
and every guy is in love with her, you just sit there like;
Then she calls her self ugly;
MYYYYLIFEEEEEEEE
ugh i hate this. this is literally the story of jmy lifeee
When I get a wrong answer on a test/quiz →
funniest10k:
Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
When someone talks shit about your best friend.
Shes the type of girl who responds to guys who...
When you tell your crush that you like them:
expectations
but this is their face in reality
Click here for more laughs!
Reblog this if you want a LONG message from...
